TRULY HEALING TRAUMA: PART 6

Alongside specific body work to release energetic packages of trauma that are deeply held within, it is important to address any false beliefs about ourselves that have been internalised as part of the legacy of traumatic experiences. If not attended to, these false narratives can continue to adversely impact how we perceive ourselves and interact with the world.

As the trauma exercises require focus on identifying where trauma is stored in the body, it is essential that this work with our practitioner is carried out very gently, respecting how fragile we may be feeling on the day, and honouring of the pace we feel comfortable exploring our historic hurts. We may only spend twenty minutes or so identifying where the body is holding triggers related to the past which are still being activated today, to ensure there is no over-stimulation.  

There is often time and space, therefore, as part of the clinical work to consider internalised beliefs and self-constructs that may be perpetuating a sense of hopelessness that things will ever change. As part of my doctoral research, I interviewed eight adult participants who had suffered from at least three Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs; see Part 2), to better understand the challenges they faced growing up that have continued into adulthood.

Some of the common sub-themes that emerged from the data are as follows:

·      A perpetual sense of unsafety

·      Overwhelm and anguish

·      Not knowing what is real/true?

·      Introjected badness

·      A fragile sense of self

·      Lack of self-worth

·      Mistrust of self and others

·      Fear of abandonment and rejection

·      The adapted self in relationships

·      Prevention through protection

These sub-themes show us that early trauma can foster ongoing distress due to a fundamental lack of safety, dominated by overwhelm, fear and uncertainty, as well as not having a clear sense of what is true. A child’s inner turmoil is exacerbated when they are gaslighted, being made to feel like they are to blame or are the problem when their caregivers are unable to accept responsibility for their actions and project their ‘badness’ onto the child. This is of course very confusing and bewildering for a child who assumes that the grown-ups know best.

As the child grows up and emerges out into the world, harmful early-life relational experiences commonly result in a fragile sense of self and trouble valuing what they bring to the world. This often presents challenges in recognising their worth in relationships which can lead to a debilitating fear of rejection.  Quite often strategies such as shape-shifting or adapting their sense of self to people-please in order to win favour and acceptance are developed into adulthood, or defences are constructed to keep people out and a stoic self-reliance in life prevents others from getting close, leading to a painful state of isolation.

It is important as a part of truly healing trauma to review and challenge the negative self-narratives and relational patterns we have adopted, which of course becomes easier as we clear the packages of hurts from our bodies. The work to heal the body is therefore essential before or alongside the examination and resolution of these emotional leftovers of our historical wounds. The unpacking of these outdated parts of us requires sensitive holding and unconditional positive regard, one of the foundational hallmarks of trauma therapy.